What's Behind Your Excuses? - Life, Like You Mean It!

by Lisa Cybaniak

How many times in a day do you ask yourself, “Why me?” Or you think that it’s too late… for whatever it is you are looking to do.

Perhaps you find yourself keeping so busy each day that you just don’t have the time to deal with that upsetting issue, or that big business idea you had last week.

Maybe you’re dreaming of leaving your corporate 9-5 to become an entrepreneur, but you know you can’t leave your job and be able to pay for your lifestyle.

Or even better yet, you have these grand ideas for something, like your New Year’s Resolutions for example, and when making your plan to implement them, you set yourself up for failure instead of success.

Today we’re talking about the excuses we make for why we’ll never be good enough; never have the money or the time to make our dreams a reality.

Meet Rachel Shackleton

Rachel Shackleton is the founder of both Green Key Health and Green Key Personal Development, a Naturopath, Herbal Medicine Practitioner, Kinesiologist and Personal Development Trainer, who is breaking down the archetypes behind our excuses so we can open our minds to different possibilities.

Rachel talks today about so many fascinating concepts, from the five different bodies and their contribution to dis-ease, to our soul path and the excuses we make for why we do not change – our archetypes. And of course, this wouldn’t be a holiday special if we weren’t giving you tips to create balance over the holidays!

Are you ready to learn all about these archetypes that may be getting in your way of making lasting changes that could change your life? I’m telling you, I was amazed with this conversation today!

So, let’s dive right in!

An introduction to your excuses

Rachel explains that when we look at our soul path, very often we make excuses for why we do not change. According to Caroline Myss’ book Sacred Contracts, these excuses show through the different archetypes.

We have 12 soul archetypes that explain why we are drawn towards certain things and behaviours. For example, if you express the Teacher archetype, while you may not become a schoolteacher, you’ll likely find yourself helping others to learn in some way, through much of your life.

Rachel describes 4 archetypes that we all have in common. Each of the following have both positives and negatives, but when one is dominant, we will see it coming through our patterns.

So, if you’re looking to figure out why you’re making excuses for the change you are desperate for, then buckle up, because resonating and understanding one or more of these archetypes just might change your life!

Let’s take a closer look at each of these 4 common archetypes and the language of your excuses if any, or all, are dominant. And of course, how you can bring them back into balance to stop making those excuses and get out of your own way to happiness and success.

The Prostitute

Now obviously this archetype is not referencing the profession of prostitution here. Rather, if this archetype is dominant, your excuse for not changing will include you saying that you can’t give up that job that you are so unhappy at because you wouldn’t be able to pay for your current lifestyle.

While Rachel and I agree that you can’t necessarily just quit your job without a game-plan in place, that doesn’t mean you have to listen to the prostitute archetype, staying put where you are, unhappy and dissatisfied.

You can make that game-plan, and all the steps you’ll need to take in order to reach it. This will allow you to leave that job in order to replace it for something that fills your heart with joy, when the timing is right – when you will be able to thrive because you’re prepared.

The Victim

If the victim archetype is dominant, you’ll be saying things to yourself similar to, “It’s too late for me to change now”, and “I’ve never had the necessary education so everyone else is so much better than me”. Of course, you can replace “education” with literally anything else to get the same result – you genuinely feel that it’s too late for you; you can’t do it; life just hasn’t worked out for you.

I believe just about everyone has experienced something in their lives where they didn’t feel they have the know-how, experience or education to do the best job possible with whatever it was they were facing. You just can’t know everything.

However, you can shift your perspective on this and realise that you once didn’t know how to hold cutlery, never mind use it, walk, talk, swim, ride a bike, or any of the things you do today.

How did you get to this place then, a master in his/her own right? You studied. Someone modelled how to do those things. You started by copying them, seeking their help and advice, learning from them every step of the way until you fully understood and could do it with ease. How is this any different?

The Child

If this archetype is dominant, your excuse for not changing will include you avoiding the issues you’re facing by ignoring them, hoping they will go away, and keeping so busy that you don’t have the time to think about them.

I find with my work as an NLP practitioner, so many of my clients do this daily as soon as they are pushed out of their comfort zone. I tend to work with entrepreneurs who are starting their business trying to take on all roles.

Naturally, they can’t afford to higher these positions out, so they have to learn about many things that just don’t interest them or take them away from the work they really want to be doing. Sometimes these roles are scary, making them very uncomfortable. But most times, they’re just things they know will take them away from their passion.

They’re desperate for their business to be successful, so ignoring these tasks that need to be done doesn’t seem reasonable. However, because doing these tasks themselves is uncomfortable, they distract themselves with lots of other tasks related to their business. They have themselves convinced that they just ran out of time each day to tackle these things, when really the child archetype is running their show.

The Saboteur

If the saboteur archetype is dominant, then your excuses take on the attitude of, “They should notice me. Why should I be the proactive one?”, for example. Basically, this archetype running your show means you are setting yourself up for failure. You may fully believe you are putting your best foot forward and are working hard to get what you want. However, the choices you’re making in reaching your goals are actually sabotaging your efforts.

Let’s look at New Year’s Resolutions as an example, being the holiday season and all. Many people have the best intentions when creating their resolutions. They aim to get fit, healthy, wealthy… you name it. The saboteur comes in when you look at their plan for success, or lack thereof.

To say you’re going to wake at 4am daily to get to the gym for 2 hours each morning before work if likely not the most reasonable goal for most. So many people make huge goals at New Year’s that just are not realistic – not because they can’t do it, but because they are not realistic to their lifestyle right now.

Someone who has never stepped foot into a gym is not likely to spend 2 hours a day in one, never mind at 4am. So, while the intention is there, making you feel like you’re doing something great for yourself, you’ve actually created an excuse waiting to happen.

Changing your excuse into action

So, what do we do about these unbalanced archetypes? Rachel suggests getting them back into balance, first requires you to recognise the archetype and then choose to look at the situation from a different perspective.

Rachel proposes that when you recognise the archetype that’s showing up, you thank it for the message and declare that you don’t need that right now; that you’re going to do “it” anyway, whatever “it” may be.

More from this episode

Rachel talks about so much more in this episode, including the emotions behind some very common dis-eases, how to unlock the patterns we find ourselves in, a deeper explanation of our soul path, and her tips for staying balanced over the holidays.

I’ll leave you with this: Now that you’ve identify which archetype is running your show, what are you going to do about it? Will you continue on, business as usual, or will you choose to look at the situation from a different perspective, thank the archetype for showing up and passing along the message, and stand up for yourself by stating that you don’t need that right now; you’re going to do it anyway!? The choice is yours.

Press play on the episode above – you don’t want to miss this!

Follow Rachel on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, LinkedIn and Pinterest. You can get more about Rachel and her work as a Naturopath, Herbal Medicine Practitioner, and Kinesiologist on her website. You can also get more information on her Personal Development Training on her other website.

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Voice over credit: Shari Vandermolen. Shari is offering a free download of one of her songs to the fans of the Life Like You Mean It podcast! Just visit www.GiftFromShari.com and tell her where to send it. Shari’s debut album is available for streaming on all the major platforms including Spotify and iTunes.

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