by Lisa Cybaniak
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So… that happened.
Here we were, all of us minding our own business one moment and in lockdown (aka quarantine) the next, due to the coronavirus pandemic.
And we’re struggling. Big time.
It’s not just our physical health we are all concerned with. It’s also our mental health, because with isolation, huge changes to our routines and support systems, and the fear that future uncertainty brings, comes the risk to our emotional and mental well-being.
So let’s talk openly today, in our first ever live show, about coronavirus and your mental health, during this pandemic and beyond.
Remain Present
In the work I do, the single greatest cause of anxiety that I see in people all around the world, is time travel. Seriously. Mentally travelling to the future to plan out every reaction to every possible problem is what I’m talking about when I refer to time travel.
It hasn’t happened yet! And on that point, how do you know it actually will happen?
When we’re talking about coronavirus and your mental health, travelling to pre-live out something with so many unknowns can have a real negative impact on your mindset.
What I do know is this – you’re not solving any problem by giving yourself a false-sense of security for your no-matter-what game plan. Instead, you’re just increasing your fear and your anxiety.
Every time you catch yourself thinking about the future, stop yourself and ask yourself what you have control over right in this moment. What’s happening right NOW? Bring yourself back into the present by paying attention to your five senses.
What do you see, hear, feel, taste or smell right now, in this moment?
Surrender Control
Talking about things you can’t control…
One of the greatest sources of anxiety, in any time, comes from trying to control that which you cannot. The best example of this is trying to control other people.
You know what I mean… trying to get others to say something or do something specific. Perhaps it’s to give you that promotion, or to say they’re sorry.
We have to be able to take responsibility for what we can control, and surrender the need to control everything else.
And in these difficult times, it isn’t any different. We can’t control the government, other people, the stock available on the store shelves…
The list of what we can’t control is quite lengthy, actually, and that makes us feel vulnerable.
And vulnerability tends to impact our mental health, especially when we’re talking about an actual illness such as the coronavirus.
But we do have some control here. We CAN control our thoughts, our actions and our reactions – always.
Remember, no one can “make” you feel something. Only you have the power to make yourself feel anything. As much as it doesn’t seem like a choice, especially in difficult times, it is!
Acceptance
The final piece of advice I have to offer here, is acceptance of what is.
We spend so much of our time resisting what is happening around us, coronavirus or not, because it doesn’t fit with what we hoped for, imagined, expected, or wanted.
Stop struggling against this moment. And again, when you’re able to remain present, you’ll find that in most moments, there is nothing to struggle against.
I do want to clarify here that accepting what is is not the same as resigning yourself to unhappiness. You have control over yourself, including your decisions. So if something in your life is not going well, you can take action to bring about positive change – and this can be done while you accept what is happening around you.
Coronavirus and Your Mental Health – Tools
The strategies above are excellent ways to re-frame your perspective, and keep you mentally healthy all year round, never mind during the coronavirus pandemic.
There are so many other tools available to you as well, but the key is to experiment to find what works best for you. I urge you to make a list of everything you hear others talking about working for them, plus all the things you’ve ever wanted to try for yourself.
Now add that list to the list of things you’ve already tried and had success with – these are the things that calm you, help you feel content, or brighten your mood when you’re down.
Over the next several weeks and months, challenge yourself to trying some of these techniques to see what works for you. This will build upon your tools you can carry in your bag of tricks.
Things that I believe are especially important at this time of self-isolation is to remain social, as best you can. This will naturally look a lot different than before for the majority of us.
Myself, I had a virtual wine and cheese with friends, using Facebook Messenger, just last week and it was AWESOME!
We’ve vowed to do this regularly, and it’s spurred me on to reach out to other friends and make similar arrangements.
My various chat groups have exploded recently with people just reaching out to see if others are okay, and to tell jokes and share funny memes. They have really lifted me up over the last couple of weeks.
Don’t discount these precious resources.
And last but not least, reach out for help. Tell your friends and family that you’re struggling. If you don’t have that support, reach out to any number of support groups that are out there. I’ve been invited to at least 4 different support groups on Facebook in the last 2 days alone.
People are out there and they are willing to help – and they crave the same social interaction that you do.
Most of all, be kind to yourself… always.
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Voice over credit: Shari Vandermolen. Shari is offering a free download of one of her songs to the fans of the Life Like You Mean It podcast! Just visit www.GiftFromShari.com and tell her where to send it. Shari’s debut album is available for streaming on all the major platforms including Spotify and iTunes.
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