by Lisa Cybaniak
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Have you ever met your Higher Self? Do you even believe in having a Higher Self? I’m guessing that since you found your way to this episode, you’re either super intrigued about the concept, or you’re a tried and true believer. Either way, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know
There was a time when I didn’t know about any of this stuff. It’s not that I didn’t believe in it, I just didn’t know about it or fully understand it. Those were the days, in my youth, when I harshly judged myself, constantly asked “why me?” and generally loathed myself.
These were the early stages of my recovery from 10-years of child abuse; the days prior to me embracing my spirituality.
Basically, I spent my teen years, and the first few years in my twenties, constantly reminding myself of how worthless I was. I knew about, and believed in, psychics because a psychic was the one who told my mother that I was being abused. He literally saved my life. And I believed that we have a soul that leaves our body after death, that was able to stay in spirit form to be around loved ones, after my Grandma’s spirit joined me on a bus ride and preventing me, in an instant, from ever being able to fully use that demeaning mantra of mine.
And in my quest to find the meaning of life, and the deeper meaning of my abuse, I stumbled across Reiki, which accelerated my belief in spirit a million fold during my Reiki Master attunement when I levitated off the ground, just me and my chair.
So, you can probably imagine that a spark had been ignited in me after my chair and I came back down to the ground, right? You bet!
From that moment on, I was on a mission to learn everything I could about the spirit world, Universal energy, and the purpose of life. I began diving deeper into self-help books that dealt solely with spirituality.
Tuning In
And I really began to take notice of the signs that are all around us, realising that life is always giving us signs. Essentially, I started to tune in. Instead of living life on autopilot, leaning into habits like if they were unbreakable truths, I started to tune into Universal energy, and my gut instincts.
As I did more and more of this, I began to realise that my “gut” instinct was actually coming from the crown of my head. When faced with a decision that I was aware I needed to make, I would close my eyes and begin to visualise each decision I could make, and their outcome. Sometimes I would feel my stomach clenching or relaxing, but most times the feeling was actually a tingling at the top of my head. When it was there, that was the path I needed to take, and when it wasn’t, well it wasn’t.
The Concept of a Higher Self
It was a natural step to begin exploring the concept of having a Higher Self. For me, your Higher Self is part of you, still in energetic or spirit form, that is the most true and pure form of you that exists.
It’s the part of you that hasn’t forgotten all your past lives, the lessons you hope to learn in this life, the people you aim to help, or your purpose. Your Higher Self sees all of it, while existing free from the constraints of time that we impose on ourselves.
To me, that means that my Higher Self is the one making my head tingle when I’m consciously making a decision about my life, pointing me in the right direction for me at that time.
The Process of Connecting to my Higher Self
I didn’t just wake up one day and start thinking this way. Like everything, it was a process. I learned a lot of this through reading different books, but of course, much of these insights came from my own experiences.
As my life unfolded, each of these experiences plus all that I was learning, began to drastically change my life.
I was now a self-employed as a Registered Massage Therapist in Canada, helping others reach optimal health through positive touch – something that really helped me to move forward from all the negative touch I received in my early years.
Business was slow to start, so I listened to the signs when someone told me about a wellness centre in the neighbouring city that was looking for a receptionist. I thought it would be a good way to make some consistent money while I built my practise, and it would allow me to see how someone else runs their business. Maybe I’d be able to learn a thing or two that would help me in my own business.
It turns out, that’s not what the Universe had in mind! Yes, I was definitely guided to take that job, but learning about business was NOT the reason why I needed to do it.
Listening, without understanding
Without me realising it, I was listening to the signs that were all around me, without seeing them. I mean, I took it as a sign that this opportunity came to me when I needed it, but I didn’t see that it was for my spiritual growth, not the growth of my business.
You see, this wellness centre was much larger than my business, and it had many different workshops and classes on offer. After working there for a couple months, I began to become friends with one of the yogi’s at the centre, who practised Kundalini yoga. Her guru also occasionally worked at the centre, running workshops in yoga and meditation.
Again, I was given a sign when I was guided to sign up for an all-day meditation workshop of his. I didn’t understand why I had the urge to take this workshop – I had never meditated before, I hadn’t met him, and the workshop was being held on a Saturday, which meant I had to take the day off and lose money in order to spend money on taking this workshop.
Nonetheless, I couldn’t wait to join.
Meeting my Higher Self
As the room filled with other workshop members, I became nervous. They all looked like they were very experienced with meditation. Suddenly I realised that this may be difficult or even embarrassing for me seeing as I didn’t actually know how to meditate!
When the guru began the meditation, leading us with chanting and song, I slipped into my meditation zone almost immediately. I was ready. This was the next step along my spiritual journey.
He guided us in a meditation where I saw myself levitating over a body of water, lotus petals all around me. Dressed in white, I was seated in the lotus position, hands in prayer position, just hovering over the water, nothing but blue skies around me.
Energy
I began to notice an energy all around me. It wasn’t just my energy, but the energy of the collective – all the other people meditating in unison in that room. We became one. It felt as though if I opened my eyes, we would all look identical, breathing in unison. It felt incredibly powerful and serene at the same time.
And then the guru began to guide us into meeting our Higher Selves. In an instant, my Higher Self appeared, a shining beam of light, dressed in white, easy to see but impossible to define. I couldn’t see her features, for example, but there was no doubt who she was.
The guru’s voice vanished. He was just gone, like I had travelled to a different realm. All that existed was me, my Higher Self and nature, which was all around us. I was no longer levitating over water, but standing in a forest, filled with tall trees, butterflies, and beams of sunlight.
Messages from my Higher Self
My Higher Self didn’t exactly have a conversation with me. It was more like a transfer of information. I felt like the all the information that has ever been known in the Universe was downloaded into my DNA. I could see images that I couldn’t focus on, words that I couldn’t quite hear.
And the sense of peace. Oh, the sense of peace was incredible. It was like the problems of the world and my Earthly form never existed. And then came the message: Forgive, Lisa, forgive.
I have the power
The message I received that day was loud and clear. I have the power to let go of my past to be free of the hurt and anger, or to hold onto it and let it fester. The choice I make affects me, not my abuser, so the forgiveness I need to bestow isn’t for him, it’s for me. It’s time to let go, to be free, to fall in love with myself, to step into my power.
The way I live my life and the beliefs I hold dear are choices I make that shape my life, and at any time, I can make a different choice. I have that power.
When I opened my eyes, the whole room felt like it was buzzing. Hours had passed in what seemed like minutes. For a moment, I didn’t know who or where I was, like I was still in the forest with my Higher Self, confused as to how I landed in this room.
Life is a Choice
I am truly blessed to have had these experiences, not because I am special or in some way different or better than anyone else who hasn’t, but because I choose to listen. While others refer to many things as coincidences, I choose to listen to these signs and messages. I allow myself to be guided, especially when I don’t understand why. I trust in the Universe, in myself and in my Higher Self. Do you?
For the next leg in my spiritual journey, I get to learn an entirely different perspective on forgiveness that literally changes everything for me, allowing me to finally heal from my abusive past and step into the light. But that’s a story for our next Spiritual Solo Series episode!
In the meantime, I want to know if you’ve ever met your Higher Self?
Press play on the episode above to get all the details!
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Voice over credit: Shari Vandermolen. Shari is offering a free download of one of her songs to the fans of the Life Like You Mean It podcast! Just visit www.GiftFromShari.com and tell her where to send it. Shari’s debut album is available for streaming on all the major platforms including Spotify and iTunes.
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