In the Beginning
As a young woman of 23, I was just graduating as a Registered Massage Therapist, looking to differentiate myself from other Therapists so I could grow my business. As a new graduate, I didn’t have a ‘specialty’ focus to my practice yet, so I thought the best way to deal with this while I figured out where I would focus, would be to add another modality.
Planting the ‘Reiki Seed’
One of my clients I had as a student talked to me about this Reiki therapy she was having by a Reiki Master. Interestingly, when I looked into Reiki, I realised that someone in my class had presented Reiki as part of a class project whereby we needed to explore other therapies that could augment our practices. I had forgotten all about it, but now was intrigued.
The client bringing this to my attention was talking about the spiritual side of Reiki, how it is energy work that works with the energy that is all around us. It sounded very calming and quite wonderful, but what took hold of me was how far removed this type of practice seemed to be from what I knew of this client. I had been treating her for 8 months or so, quite regularly, and she loved to talk during her massages. As such, I thought I had gotten to know her fairly well.
She was very athletic, talked about work, sports, and what it was like to be a gay woman in 1997. She was the type of person who had an injury so sought out treatment, but convincing her to continue therapy as a form of prevention was… difficult. Her mindset was more of a ‘if it’s not broke, don’t fix it’ type, definitely not the spiritual, energy based mindset that Reiki offered, especially considering Reiki was not a deep tissue massage, but rather the gentle laying on of hands over top of clothing. That alone was enough for me to explore it further.
Hello Reiki!
I contacted the woman who had captured my client’s enthusiasm, with the explicit directive that if this client could find energy work to be helpful, then it’s worth adding it to my repertoire. Without having a single treatment myself, I set out to learn Reiki, joining a workshop with my now Reiki Master, Deborah.
There were a few of us there, all sitting on her floor in her living room, learning the story of Reiki over the course of time, learning about the energy that is all around us, and in us, and discussing how that energy can be used to heal the emotional and physical. The small group of us were attuned to the energy by the end of the course, and that’s when my incredible personal journey began.
The ‘Me’ Before Reiki
Yes, I successfully added Reiki to my practice, and eventually trained on to become a Reiki Master myself, teaching dozens of others over the years to be Reiki practitioners themselves. That was wonderful! However, while this was happening, I completely changed into the person I am today – someone who can’t even recognise her former self.
Prior to this, I was a negative person. I had low self-esteem and at my core just did not believe that I deserved anything positive in my life. As a result, I found the negative in absolutely everything. It didn’t matter if I was in a wonderful relationship, or that I was embarking on my future career with success, or that I had a roof over my head and enough money to eat, I was going to find the negative in everything if it was the last thing I did.
I also had a mantra that played in my head daily. It was the words of my former step-father that I heard nearly every day for 10 years during my childhood: ‘You’re ugly, stupid, useless, worthless and not worth loving’. Every time things didn’t go according to plan, that was the mantra that would play. It made for a great explanation, you have to admit. Every time things did go according to plan, that mantra also played as a great way of keeping me on my toes so I would be prepared for the upcoming inevitable disappointment.
The New Me
The Reiki training had taught me about opportunities, that everything happens for a reason, that I need to put the thought of what I want in my mind and then do the work necessary to have it happen, while taking notice of what is happening around me. Did I meet someone new that could point me in a certain direction? Did someone mention something I found interesting? Did my relationship end only for my next relationship to come about and be 100 times more fulfilling?
And I believed in this because it made sense to me. I could in fact trace back many things from my past that allowed me to get to where I was – I saw a billboard about a Massage Therapy school while on holiday. That’s literally the first time I thought about becoming a therapist, and within a month, someone pointed out to me that there was a school for Massage Therapy right in my town!
Having this new way of looking at things really did inspire me, so much so that I began reading anything that took my eye in the bookstore. I would literally walk into the store, wander around reading the book jackets, and walk out with something of interest that once I read it would have something that would hugely change my thinking.
My Realisations
I started looking at my past relationships – you know, the ones where I had thought we were in love, I thought I had invested fully, only to find out he had been cheating? I had a few of those. I used to play the mantra when this would happen, and tell myself I was the common denominator – as in, it was my fault they didn’t respect or appreciate me. But now as I looked back, I realised several things:
- Regardless of how or why they ended, the feelings I had during those relationships were real. So was the feeling of being loved, respected and appreciated during the course of the relationship. I wasn’t stupid for thinking someone cared for me because in those moments, people did care.
- People were not coming up with ways to hurt me, including these cheating men. Their cheating ways were their problem, not mine. Yes, I was the common denominator, but I wasn’t the reason they were cheating. I was the reason I was choosing men capable of cheating.
- Because of my mantra, I really didn’t believe I deserved a loving relationship. In fact, I didn’t even love myself. I had been waiting for a knight in shining armour to come and save my day, my life really. This is where my new mantra comes into play, and I so wish I could give credit to the proper author of this mantra – ‘She needed a hero, so that’s what she became’. I needed to stop looking elsewhere for acceptance and love and start looking inward.
I Am My Hero!
With these revelations, I was off! I had no idea how to start being my own hero, any more than I understood how to stop choosing men capable of cheating. But guess what? Reiki allowed me to put those thoughts into action, allowing me to recognise opportunities, and grab them.
Eventually, I became a completely different person – one who takes responsibility for her actions and reactions, but let’s go of the need to control others; one who finds the positive in everything, knowing that everything that happens is happening to get me on to the right path; one who is my own hero who knows her value, respects all she’s been through, and is so very proud of surviving it all; one who is deserving of love, so is able to accept the love of others; and one who is deserving of happiness and is strong enough to make the changes that need to be made to have it.
Opportunities in Real Life
I put this into play every single day. Less than a decade ago I got the itch to go to University, so I went. That lead me to want to be a teacher. I worked very hard for 4 years to earn my right to be a teacher, only to find out that it was going to take an average of 4 years to get a full time job in Canada. I was already 39, so I applied to other countries.
The opportunity came up to teach science in the UK, so I took it. I had never stepped foot in England before and did not know a soul anywhere close to where I was moving. And yes, I was moving all by myself. I really wasn’t worried. I figured, if I hated it, I’d just move back, but if I didn’t take the chance, I’d always wonder ‘what if’. I wouldn’t be proud of that, so I took off for England.
I began teaching science, slowly made friends, eventually found a good place to live, and started having a life. I reached out to attempt to get a job in Dubai and received an offer for Abu Dhabi, but it just didn’t feel right, so I decided to stay in England and went on some dating sites so I could finally put down some roots after 2 years. The next thing I knew, I met a wonderful man with 2 great kids that were all ready and waiting for a woman like me to join their life, so I did!
A Continuing Journey
I was very happy with my home life, but not with my career. Something was missing. I just didn’t feel I was positively impacting my community enough. All day long I was surrounded by children who were dealing with some very difficult home life situations. Yep, I was helping them learn science, and for some of them, I was providing a safe place to be at break and lunch. For others, I was providing some comic relief with some truly British-type banter. One by one, I was trying to inspire some of these kids to make some changes to their thinking, to shift from a mentality of being to victim, to being a survivor. There is a very big difference.
One day I was on Pinterest and saw a blog post. I investigated it enough to be inspired, but didn’t know what to write about. My man and I brainstormed over a few days when it finally hit me like a brick. How could I have not seen this earlier? I NEED to blog about my story. I NEED to tell my story of abuse, and much more importantly, how I became the survivor.
Coincidence?
Very soon after that revelation, an old friend popped back into my life. Guess what she is? A life and business coach. I kid you not. Just what I needed! She introduced me to a virtual assistant, someone else I desperately needed! So now with a team in place, all brainstorming what I could do with my story to help as many people as possible, it came to me: Motivational Speaker.
It all clicked. I used to be an actor, so I love being on stage. I have worked my tail off to become the person I am, so I understand first-hand how victims see things, and what is needed to move forward. I’ve been teaching for 3 years, reminding me of the teenage mind, and opening the window to see just how many of them are dealing with very very difficult things that have the power to shape their lives. And certainly not least, I have been a Reiki Master since 1998, and have 16 years’ experience as a Massage Therapist. I know how to help people, I know how to teach people, I understand people needing help to become a survivor, and I love being on stage – no worries of stage fright here!
I am exactly where I am supposed to be, in all areas of my life!
Books to Help
The book that helped me the most, and is my ‘go-to’ book, is:
Interested in learning how I can help you or someone you love? Visit my website to see how I can help. Better yet, let’s book a complimentary call to have a chat!
