by Lisa Cybaniak
Have you ever been pushed outside your comfort zone so hard and fast that the only way you could even consider carrying on despite the discomfort, was to count on that one person that had your back, no matter what? It’s probably the person that nudged you in that direction in the first place. It’s definitely the person you know will have your back regardless of the outcome. And that dedication, support and unwavering belief in you holds you upright.
What happens when you lose that person? Maybe it’s a relationship breakdown where you suddenly find yourself single, feeling vulnerable, without support. Or maybe it’s your relationship with your best friend, that very gradually fades off in the distance with life just getting in the way.
Red Tan is a singer and songwriter, former Philippine Idol contestant, and World Championships of Performing Arts medal winner.
Meet Red Tan
With skills like that, awards under her belt, and a skyrocketing career, it’s easy to assume that Red has it made. But she knows exactly what it’s like to lose that constant support system, her soft place to fall, her number one fan: her husband. In 2017, Red Tan lost her husband to illness, and instantly became a single mother to their son.
Faced with this insurmountable loss, Red Tan had a decision to make: how did she want to be defined?
She put all her focus on her “why”: Helping others and making a difference. She’s not afraid to take risks, putting herself out there, wearing her heart on her sleeve through her song lyrics, all to help others realise how important they are.
Her debut EP, Don’t You Dare, dedicated to her late husband, inspires everyone to use the challenges, failures, rejections, criticisms and even mental health setbacks as stepping-stones to rise-up, stay on track, and reach their goals.
Are you ready to learn Red Tan’s “why”? I promise, you won’t want to miss this episode with this incredible inspiration.
So let’s dive right in!
Making a dream come true
All of us are motivated to make a dream come true, right? Red Tan is like the rest of us: she has a dream to be a successful singer songwriter, including fame and fortune. But this isn’t her “why”, it’s her goal.
One of her top reasons “why” she has this goal is because her late husband believed in her. He was the one who pushed her out of her comfort zone to enter the World Championships of Performing Arts in California, after a long hiatus from performing. You see, like many women, she had taken a break from her career to raise their son. When she decided to get back on stage, she envisioned taking a much smaller step.
But her husband believed in her and pushed her to enter the competition in California instead. Lacking confidence, feeling she wasn’t ready, wasn’t good enough, and all the other things we all say to ourselves when we are pushed into doing something new, she fed off of his determination and belief in her abilities.
After winning two medals in that competition, her confidence soared. Unfortunately, that was when her husband suddenly passed away from illness. She had lost her support system; the one person who believed in her when she didn’t even believe in herself.
But instead of giving up, she decided that his belief in her was exactly what she would focus on to build the career he always knew she could.
Helping others
One of the largest driving forces for Red is her deep desire to help others. Through her lyrics, she hopes to inspire a wide audience to know they too are strong and important. She sings about defying that inner voice that says, “I’m not good enough”. Using her own struggles in life with mental health, anxiety and depression, she screams loudly and proudly that no one can tell her she’s not good enough or can’t be successful. She leads by example, not only to all of us with that self-defeating mantra, but for those in the Philippines who dream of making it on a global scale.
Her passion for helping others doesn’t end there. Red has a long-term goal of building schools for young children back in the Philippines. She wants to start a foundation and use it to give back to those in need.
Two incredibly important and inspiring reasons to stay on track, keep pushing herself out of her comfort zone, and continue to take risks.
More from this episode
What is your why? What drives you forward? If you can’t answer right this second, that’s okay. But that’s also a really good indication that you may be struggling to find success. Whatever success looks like for you, if you don’t have clearly defined “why’s” at the forefront of your mind, you’re more likely to give up when things get tough. You feel like you’ve failed. It’s uncomfortable. It feels like you’ll never get there. So, you pack up and give up.
But the more “why’s” you have, and the more impactful they are, the more likely they are to drive you forward. Find your “why” and watch your determination to reach your goals soar.
Red Tan and I talk about so much more in this episode, including her top tips for building confidence, and how she deals with rejection – something all of us can relate to, in one way or another.
Press play on the episode above – you don’t want to miss this!
Follow Red Tan on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube and Facebook.
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Voice over credit: Shari Vandermolen. Shari is offering a free download of one of her songs to the fans of the Life Like You Mean It podcast! Just visit www.GiftFromShari.com and tell her where to send it. Shari’s debut album is available for streaming on all the major platforms including Spotify and iTunes.
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